Question:
Two golfers are sitting on bar stools in the 19th hole, lamenting the sorry state of their games after the last round of the season. One says to the other, "My game was so bad this year, I have to get my ball retriever regripped!" Stuart Winsor
Response:
A man was out one day playing golf. When he arrived home, his wife was furious because he was supposed to do some work around the house. She said "You promise that you would clean the garage, cut the grass and paint the bathroom". He replied "I will do all those things just as I promised". "You’ve been telling me that for weeks" she continued. She kept hounding him about how he always plays golf over doing his chores. She wouldn’t let up a bit. "You’re always playing golf and never doing what you’re supposed to around here". Finally he stormed out of the house and down to his car. He came back in with his 7 iron. She continued her rant. Not wanting to hear her anymore he began beating her with his favorite club until she dropped dead. Feeling guilty, he dialed 911. When the police arrived they asked the man what happened. "My wife kept nagging me about always playing golf to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. So I take my 7 Iron and killed her with it". The officer asked "Well how many times did you hit her?". The man started counting on his fingers "1-2-3-4…., oh about 7 times, but put me down for a 5".
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Here’s one to get started! Golf: a game in which the ball usually lies very poorly, but the player well. FINDERS KEEPERS These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don’t you try this ball?" He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can’t lose it." His friend replies, "What do you mean you can’t lose it?!" The first man replies, "I’m serious, you can’t lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it." Obviously, his friend doesn’t believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, "Wow! That’s incredible! Where did you get that ball?!" The man replies, "I found it." — J. Larsen egolftee.Inc. Always looking for good reciprocal links! http://www.egolftee.com You can send your suggestions here or post to the newsgroup!
Response:
Here is one for you. You tell it like you experienced it yourself: The other day I was playing golf with my friend Joe from work. We were on the 9th green. You know. The one near the highway. When this funeral procession of cars went by on the road. Old Joe stopped preparing for his putt, dropped his putter, turned toward the procession and a little tear came out of the corner of his eye. I was impressed and told him so. "Joe" I said ",I’m impressed. I never knew you to have so much care for your fellow man." He replied, "Well, it is the least I owe her. I was married to her for 35 years." Barry C
Response:
I don’t know any, but after a recent thread in the NG, here is something funny 8=) Regular Version: Oh Sh!!t, Tiger is in the Woods!!!! Clean Version: Oh Pooh, Tigger is in the Woods!!!! <grin – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Here’s one to get started! Golf: a game in which the ball usually lies very poorly, but the player well. FINDERS KEEPERS These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don’t you try this ball?" He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can’t lose it." His friend replies, "What do you mean you can’t lose it?!" The first man replies, "I’m serious, you can’t lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it." Obviously, his friend doesn’t believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, "Wow! That’s incredible! Where did you get that ball?!" The man replies, "I found it." — J. Larsen egolftee.Inc. Always looking for good reciprocal links! http://www.egolftee.com You can send your suggestions here or post to the newsgroup!