Question:
"John Pflum, Jr." wrote … Well, it just happened to be the traditional weekend for the BIG RSG-Atlanta and I was in town visiting a friend. I had been in touch with Messers Randy Brown and Rick Dement. We arranged to get together for 18 holes and chew the fat a little bit. (Though, the thing that had the most fat was our shots).
Glad to see this is now being made public. I thought we were playing "on the down low," but now, I guess, I can chime in with my version. We played, as Randy coined it, "golf in da hood" at the Alfred A "Tup" Holmes Golf Course, located somewhere on the wrong side of the tracks.
John, who was staying at a resort seemingly just north of Macon, more or less dictated the geography, although the economics of playing this lovely gem of a golf course (it is a golf course, isn’t it?) made it more desireable than the $500 a round green fees at the resort where John was staying. And yes, I wouldn’t want to build a house in that neighborhood. John was wise to let his wife take the car back to the resort. Given a choice, I wouldn’t have wanted to leave my car there, either. Alfred A. "Tup" Holmes is something of an Atlanta legend, being the first black golfer in the area many years ago to force the city fathers to open the doors of its golf courses to black golfers. Now he has this golf course named after him, which is barely better than having the Greyound Bus Station named after you. At least it has trees. One of the four Atlanta city municipal courses, it’s actually a fairly charming place, in a quirky sort of way. And it’s the only one of the four with bentgrass greens. More about that later… We teed off at around 11 AM — just in time to catch the bulk of the Atlanta heat. Rick proposed a three way match for big bucks — $.25 a hole.
It was hot alright. I nearly passed out a couple of times. Didn’t bother to mention that at the time and risk being seen as a wuss. Instead, I let my golf say that about me. Highlights — We all halved (threeved?) the first hole with bogeys. On the way to the second hole, slightly up hill, Randy’s cart decided to expire. He called back to the club house and they told him they would bring him out a new one.
You left out the part about how we told them before leaving the cart barn that I had doubts about that cart in the first place, since it didn’t seem to have an ignition. The apparatus where the key plugs into the cart was hanging loose from the "dashboard," with all the wiring behind it exposed. (Given the neighborhood, I might have wondered if a tape deck had been stolen out of it, but of course these golf carts don’t have tape decks, but that’s what it looked like.) Don’t want to say "I told you so," but…I TOLD YOU SO!!! Having the cart die did, however, provide one of the rare opportunities when having a cellphone on the golf course does come in handy. They had the cart to us by the time we finished the hole. Pity the poor bastard who had to push the dead cart back up the mountain to the cart barn. Since Randy has a "tour" bag that weighs about 100 pounds, I walked a hole or two until they brought the new one out.
True enough. The extra weight of my bag gave the cart even a little extra speed, but only when going downhill, like from the clubhouse to the first tee, and from the 1st tee to the 1st fairway. It barely climbed the tiny hill to the 2nd tee, and when we left the 2nd tee to the steep hill leading up to the 2nd fairway, it never had a chance. It didn’t even make it to the ladies tees. Fortunately, however, my tee shot did. Except for my tee shots on 17 and 18, that was one of the best tee shots I hit all day. — Rick proclaimed himself the master of the bump and run after a couple of good chips. However, he soon proved to be the master of the run and run and run, and not enough bump.
Rick was also the master of the bump and throw… as in while driving the cart, whenever he hit a bump in the road, he nearly threw me out of the cart. On one occasion (it was at the 2nd hole, when he slammed on the brakes when arriving at the green), I nearly went flying out the front of the cart. I guess I just wasn’t yet accustomed to his driving. NOTE TO E-Z-GO: Two words, fellas: SEAT BELTS! — Randy left every putt he made about 5′ short. Rick and I began to bet on how far he would leave them short.
Very funny. I heard you guys laying odds on the over/under on one hole. You actually thought I’d get it past the hole. Guess again, Slim. Bent grass greens are wonderful, but only when they’ve been mowed during the calendar year. The greens were as slow as Christmas, which, evidently, was the last time they were cut. Do you know how frustrating it can get to see putt after putt left RIGHT IN THE JAWS, five feet short? And yes, I will go on record now and publicly admit that I even left a fifteen-foot putt about 7-feet short. Again, it was dead on line. When it left the blade, I thought I’d made it. — I made about every putt under 10′ I looked including several to knock Rick out of a skin.
There must be a strange strain of grass used on Cincinnati courses call Velcrograss. No one can putt on those greens we faced at "The Tup" unless they’re accustomed to greens stimping at about 2. But my hat’s off to you, Mr. Pflum. By God, you actually rolled the rock really well on that shag carpet. Personally, I wouldn’t want to groove a putting stroke on that stuff, but I’ve seen you putt well on good greens, too, so it apparently doesn’t faze you. After getting accustomed to the speed of the greens, I always felt like I was between clubs on most of my putts. — My shot of the day: a three wood to the 210 yard par three to about 5′. Missed the putt.
A beautiful moon ball that sailed straight and true from the tee, that sits about 80 feet above the green. Easily the shot of the day. Hit by the player of the day. Nice lag, by the way. — Ruling of the day: There was a question about a netting erected to protect folks on the tee of #4 from getting beaned from the people on the tee of #16. I happened to have David Hayes (resident RSG rules expert — some would call him a Nazi). The question was whether or not you would get relief from the netting if it was in your line of play. David’s suggested ruling: Two strokes on Dement.
Which was, without a doubt, the funniest moment of the day, too, not only because of the laughter it evoked at that time, but because of how it became a running gag the rest of the day. Thanks, David, for a gift that kept on giving. Better than the clap. It should be noted here that this ruling, sought because of a protective netting guarding players in harm’s way on the 4th tee from shots coming from our location) occurred on the tee at #7, where the maintenance barn sits adjacent and to the immediate right of the tee box. The sign adorning the side of the metal building says "OUT OF BOUNDS," as if someone needed to be reminded that a ball struck at a 90-degree angle of the tees and landing behind the cyclone fence would be out of play. Not much I can add, but I’ll try. DeMent showed us a new shot I’d not seen before. Since a driver’s hosel goes basically down and through the heel of the club (not exposed, like on irons), I didn’t know it was possible to shank a driver, but Rick was able to repeat this shot — the dreaded shanked drive — several times. So maybe that sign on the maintenance barn was for him. Despite alarming inactivity golf-wise this year (I think I’ve played golf maybe 6 times all year), I drove the ball consistently well throughout most of the round (save for the first swing of the day — more about that in a minute). Why, I even outdrove the prodigious Mr. DeMent, who, when he hits it in a generally forward-like direction, can launch the thing. Unfortunately, golf requires certain shots be hit with grooved clubs off the ground, and that’s where my adventure began. One would think a 4-iron should go a little farther than an 8-iron, but I found most of my irons going about the same distance. Maybe THEY’RE out of practice, too! But the driver did not disappoint. I made the foolish remark prior to our leaving the clubhouse to start the round that Tup Holmes was one golf course where it’s difficult to lose golf balls. I then proceeded to lose the first one I hit off the #1 tee (maybe that’s where DeMent learned the shanked driver shot). On the day, I believe I ridded myself of at least two sleeves of brand spankin’ new Callaway HX Blues. Two more strokes on DeMent. On two occasions, I hit what appeared to be superb shots from the fairway with fairway woods on long holes, right down the middle of the fairway, but never found them. The fairways are severely undulating (and rock hard), and I thought they’d be within a flip wedge to the green. But they were nowhere to be seen in the fairway. So, as a gesture of goodwill and sportsmanship, I made a cursory attempt to search for both balls in the weeds on either side of the fairway, downhill from where the fairway drifts. But in truth, given the high crime rate in that neighborhood, I think it’s a safe bet they were stolen. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it. Two more strokes on DeMent. On a serious note, I did honestly get dizzy and felt like I was about to pass out a time or two during the round, though I didn’t say anything at the time. Not exactly a near-blackout feeling, but rather a near white-out sensation. Very strange. Never before happened to me on a golf course (or anywhere else, for that matter). But I’ve been outdoors so little this year, I think the heat was just too much at one time. A shock to my system. I was glad to get back into the air conditioned comfort of my car, where I regained my bearings rather quickly (a fact that I’m … read more »
Response:
For the record, *I* did not give Randy the clap. —
Condoms are a good thing! :-0 — bill-o
Response:
""R&B"" <SLAM_SPAM_THANK_YA_MA’AM writes: — Ruling of the day: There was a question about a netting erected to protect folks on the tee of #4 from getting beaned from the people on the tee of #16. I happened to have David Hayes (resident RSG rules expert — some would call him a Nazi). The question was whether or not you would get relief from the netting if it was in your line of play. David’s suggested ruling: Two strokes on Dement. Which was, without a doubt, the funniest moment of the day, too, not only because of the laughter it evoked at that time, but because of how it became a running gag the rest of the day. Thanks, David, for a gift that kept on giving. Better than the clap.
For the record, *I* did not give Randy the clap. — http://rec-sport-golf.com/?rc=hayesd
Response:
Well, it just happened to be the traditional weekend for the BIG RSG-Atlanta and I was in town visiting a friend. I had been in touch with Messers Randy Brown and Rick Dement. We arranged to get together for 18 holes and chew the fat a little bit. (Though, the thing that had the most fat was our shots). We played, as Randy coined it, "golf in da hood" at the Alfred A "Tup" Holmes Golf Course, located somewhere on the wrong side of the tracks. We teed off at around 11 AM — just in time to catch the bulk of the Atlanta heat. Rick proposed a three way match for big bucks — $.25 a hole. Highlights — We all halved (threeved?) the first hole with bogeys. On the way to the second hole, slightly up hill, Randy’s cart decided to expire. He called back to the club house and they told him they would bring him out a new one. Since Randy has a "tour" bag that weighs about 100 pounds, I walked a hole or two until they brought the new one out. — Rick proclaimed himself the master of the bump and run after a couple of good chips. However, he soon proved to be the master of the run and run and run, and not enough bump. — Randy left every putt he made about 5′ short. Rick and I began to bet on how far he would leave them short. — I made about every putt under 10′ I looked including several to knock Rick out of a skin. — My shot of the day: a three wood to the 210 yard par three to about 5′. Missed the putt. — Ruling of the day: There was a question about a netting erected to protect folks on the tee of #4 from getting beaned from the people on the tee of #16. I happened to have David Hayes (resident RSG rules expert — some would call him a Nazi). The question was whether or not you would get relief from the netting if it was in your line of play. David’s suggested ruling: Two strokes on Dement. — John Pflum, Jr. 2002 RSG-Cincinnati Champion Email: jpflumjr at cincii dot rr dot com